10 Things Parents Should Know about Sherlock Holmes

Jude Law & Robert Downey Jr. as Dr. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes / Via flickr user joebardi23

When Sherlock Holmes was first announced, I had mixed feelings: Guy Ritchie? Seriously? More reassuring was news of Robert Downey Jr.’s casting as Holmes, especially after Iron Man showed that he could pull off a genuinely fun action movie in a way that too many stars have forgotten. But the movie is here, the kid has been lobbying for months to go (”Please, Dad — for Christmas!?!”) and so it’s time to assess the final version:

Will I like it?

Not if your idea of a good Sherlock Holmes movie means an adaptation of a Conan Doyle story, or indeed consistency with Holmes canon. (See below.)

If, however, you think a buddy cop movie might be leavened a bit by gaslight and the banter of Downey Jr. and Jude Law, and if you’re more interested in the idea of Sherlock Holmes than the existing character, then you may well like this movie. Keep your expectations suitably low, and you’ll do all right.

Will my kids like it?

Probably. The action sequences aren’t bad, and Holmes’s ambivalence about love — Emotions are bad! Wait, must prevent my best friend from marrying! Why am I so obsessed with this bad girl? — might well feel authentic.

It’s PG-13. Should I be concerned?

My 6-yr-old has been begging to see this movie for longer than he’s wanted to see Avatar. We’ve read some of the stories together, and he’s seen a few other PG-13 movies (Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, etc.), and so it didn’t seem implausible.

Having seen it, though, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable taking anyone under 10. The plot depends on engendering mass hysteria in London, based on fears of the dead rising from the grave. The opening sequence, which features the villain, Lord Blackwood, presiding over a ritual of black magic, features a woman writhing erotically in anticipation of her own murder. A man catches on fire. Many of the scenes of physical violence, while stylized, also are dwelt on in some detail, in part to show Holmes’s mastery. It’s not that the movie as a whole is particularly violent or sexy, and there’s no cursing to speak of, and of course black magic is ultimately explained away as illusion. But the scenes struck me as somewhat intense, and so my kid, at least, is going to have to wait a while.

Is it true to the character, either from Conan Doyle’s writings or from earlier adaptations?

This is a hard question to answer simply. Some critics have derided Downey Jr. as a superheroic Holmes, but Conan Doyle’s detective could certainly hold his own in a fight. And the film also captures quite well Holmes’s self-confessed preference for a bohemian life.

It must be said that the film largely dispenses with strict fidelity to the timeline of events in Conan Doyle’s stories, although it is chockablock with allusions to the Holmesian universe.

Is its recreation of London historically accurate?

Nope. As my fellow Victorianist Miriam Burstein has pointed out, the film isn’t specific about dates in the way Conan Doyle frequently was.

Any special geek appeal?

Sherlock Holmes is a maker! He distresses his landlady to no end with his constant experimentation: he tries to invent a silencer for a gun, figures out how to survive a hanging, identifies poisons, and much else.

At the end of the movie, Holmes tries to imagine a futuristic world in which all manner of devices are controlled by radio waves, which got a knowing chuckle from the audience I was with.

Any logical places for a bathroom break?

RunPee.com suggests 37 minutes in, which is when Holmes and Watson crack open a coffin and examine the corpse inside. That’s sensible, although 37 minutes is pretty quick.

A little bit later on, Holmes is taken in secret to the headquarters of a Freemason-esque secret society; the interview that follows is also pretty skippable. (Since that’s just talk, however, you don’t get the added benefit of missing a particularly gross scene.)

Any interesting trailers?

Interesting, maybe–there were definitely many trailers. And some of them are missable, especially if you’ve got a youngish child. After comedies such as Hot Tub Time Machine and Date Night, the action cranks up with The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Iron Man 2, The Wolfman, Inception, and Hollywood’s latest attempt to prove Curtis Silver’s point, Clash of the Titans. The Wolfman, in particular, is pretty creepy, and I thought the effects in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and Clash of the Titans already looked a little tired.

Is there any sort of bonus movie or anything during or after the credits?

Nope. You’re free to go. (And at a bit over 2 hours, plus lots of previews, you’ll want to.)

“The Rocky Road to Dublin” appears a couple of times in the film, most notably during Holmes’s long boxing match. What’s the best version of this classic Irish song?

Easy: The Pogues’: