Kids need your help with homework.
Recently here on the GeekDad blog I wrote about a survey that the Intel Corporation had done that showed that many parents would rather talk to their kids about drugs than about math or science. It raised some interesting points about our interest as parents in the education of our children. It also pointed out some deficiencies we may have already noticed ourselves, such as the generational gap in learning. Frankly, even though the article was popular I was really waiting for a response from an educator to see how far off or near the mark I was. Well, now I have that response.
Enter Rebecca Zook, accomplished teacher, cellist and most importantly - math tutor. For seven years she has been a private math tutor and recently wrote a post in response to my original one highlighting some tips for parents in helping their children with math homework. Rebecca is no slouch, in addition to being a tutor she’s also taught Kaplan SAT prep classes for both the math and verbal sections of the SAT around Boston. While a Junior Writing Fellow at the Boston University Writing Center she coached undergraduates on their academic writing and liked to bake chocolate muffins. While doing yoga. Basically, I’m saying that I’m not writing this response to a response by some hack, she knows what she’s talking about.
First, go back and read my original post to refresh your memory. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
Done? Okay, now go read Rebecca’s response on her blog, Triangle Suitcase in which she reiterates a bit of what I mentioned in my post, then offers some helpful tips to parents.
When looking at Rebecca’s tips, the most important one is the one that she includes in her conclusion, “you can help your kid.” There is more to that sentence, but that’s all you really need to start with. As a parent, you can help your kid no matter how little or how much you know about math. I run into a lot of people who question the validity and application of math in the real world. How little they know. Almost everything in our daily lives is somehow powered by math. From the cars we drive to work in, to our alarm clocks, well, I don’t have to tell all of you. You know. Math is everywhere and one of the most important skills we need to teach our children if we expect to have a functioning future on this planet.
One of her recurring themes in her post is the continuous interaction of the parent with the child. Whether it be walking through the problems with the child, or digging up reference material, the parent must be involved as much as possible. The worst thing you can do to help a child with their homework is to just clear a space at the table and walk away. Unless they are genius level and can figure it out on their own fairly easy. Some kids are like that, just not all of them. Some won’t even ask for help because they are too embarrassed. Making sure they shouldn’t be is easy, just show them how much you need to learn right along with them. There is a huge disconnect between what the adult brain knows about math and what the child’s brain knows about math - even if the learning process was the same, thirty years apart. As Rebecca mentions:
Follow your kid’s lead. Just because your kid is the fruit of your loins doesn’t mean that their brain works anything like yours. So share any tips or tricks that work for you, but don’t take it personally if they don’t click with your kid.
Likewise, if your kid spontaneously comes up with their own learning strategy or memory trick, run with it. It will boost your kid’s confidence in their own thought processes.
Children have a different capacity for learning than adults do. Especially when it comes to languages such as math and science. This isn’t saying that you should dumb down your own learning to meet them in middle, this is saying you should treat it as if you are also learning for the first time. This will put the parent better on par with the child and help foster a healthy environment for learning.
One of the biggest problems I’ve noticed with parents is their complaining about not having the patience to work with their child on their homework. They excuse it by reaffirming their lack of knowledge on the subject and try to justify it by saying their child is smart enough to handle it and learn on their own. Like I said, some kids are like that, most aren’t. These parents need an attitude change. They need to be patient with their children, who are in the learning process. If the parents lack of math knowledge is as profound as they make it out to be, they don’t realize that’s actually an advantage. The parent needs to stay patient and above all, positive.
Stay positive and keep trying. Getting good at math means being willing to persevere in the face of a challenge. If you don’t get it right away, that’s OK. Kids learn a lot from watching someone model what to do when they’re faced with unfamiliar material.
Attitude is just the first step. Next comes the actual work part of the homework. It’s one thing to be supportive, it’s another to actually help. The trouble some parents run into is they ending up forgetting the first part (patience and positive attitude) and end up doing the homework for the child. At this point, the child is only learning to whine and his parents will do it for them. We’re all stressed for time, but again, in 30 or so years don’t we want a world in which math makes things work? If you need a better glimpse of the future without math and science, go watch Idiocracy. That’ll set you down at the table helping with math.
So when helping your child with math, work right along with them. If you know the material, ask them leading questions to get them going without revealing the answer. Go over problems in the book or ask them about their method and make small corrections. Just like teaching them a sport or how to spot weld, if it appears you are learning right along with them they’ll adapt and pick it up much quicker. Another really helpful tip is to get a blank sheet of paper. Between all the chores and which girl/boy in class is their girlfriend/boyfriend this week - children have a lot of their own to remember. As Rebecca points out:
When in doubt, write it out. Encourage your kid to write out all the steps in their work. The less they have to keep track of in their head, the more accurate they’ll be. And this lets you see their thought process.
I’m not trying to sound preachy here, and neither is Rebecca. We want kids to learn math, and we want to hear from parents who are helping their kids learn math. The world needs kids who know math so they can become adults who know math. I can’t stress that enough. Yes, children go to school to learn but there is no reason the learning should end when they the bell rings in the afternoon. That’s why they have homework and that’s why they have parents to help with the homework. Sure, there are a bunch of social-economical factors that could invalidate that last sentence, but that’s a post for another day.
How do you help your kids with their math homework? Or any of their homework for that matter?
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